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Modern Gaming Is A Fucking Nightmare

Recently I had the good fortune of being able to buy a decent PC, after struggling on a mediocre PC for almost ten years I felt blessed finally having the opportunity to play some next gen games and I was also looking forward to playing my old games on maximum settings for the first time ever. Little did I know what a nightmare it would become.




The Struggle Is Real

One of the first things I did on my new beastly rig was install all of my old games, titles like Max Payne, Black & White, The Sims, Hitman and more. I remember enjoying these games a lot back in the day and couldn’t wait to get back into them. It was at this time I realised that the computer I had just built from carefully curated parts had no optical drive… Oops forgot all about that. Anyway, I still had an external DVD ROM player laying around, so with that it was time to start. However a bunch of them wouldn’t even install without some sort of workaround, let alone be playable. Some quick online searching taught me that the anti-pirating protocols built into many games during the late 90’s and early 00’s have been completely abandoned by Win10. This does not however mean you’re free to do whatever, quite the opposite, it means your software is basically useless and you can only use your old games as fancy coasters from now on. That is unless you’re able to find some sort of workaround like changing a dll file, downloading a patched executable or finding an official update. But even if these options are available you might still have to fiddle around for hours with compatibility and graphic settings to get the fucking thing running anywhere close to normal. Other options I thought of were setting up a dual boot of Win10 and Ubuntu, running a XP Virtual Machine or setting up a second system specifically for my older games, all of which seems like a lot of work with varied results just to have a bit of fun. So far for retro gaming!

 

 

Moving On

The biggest letdown for me has been the installation of GTA IV, this is a game I couldn’t play on my old PC due to a lack of graphical capability and now, some years later, when I finally have the specs I still find myself unable to play it due to general suckage. First I was unable to install it, looking up the error online it turns out I needed to set my computer’s clock back five years to bypass the issue. After finally installing it I was met with several other errors. This game works in combination with the software from ‘Rockstar Social Club’ and ‘Windows Games Live’, both of which I never asked for, see no need for, and as it turns out are fucking broken. Windows Games Live has even been discontinued completely after being deemed a total failure, but this damn game still needs it to run, so the current solution is to patch the game. Rockstar however doesn’t give a fuck, so no official fix, instead I have to rely on ‘the community’ for a patch. After a couple hours of wrestling with this crap I decided to leave it for a day when I don’t have Steam coming out of my ears.

 

Good Times Are Here?

So much for the old-old games and the new-old games, let’s move on to the old-new games, Fall-Out New Vegas for instance. I bought this game second hand for one Euro, which I though was a pretty sweet deal, little did I know that the activation code was one time use. Meaning that if the previous owner has actually used the key it’s forever connected to his Steam account, in that case the only way to play this damn game is to pay at least 12 euros for a new and unused key. I’ll just take my one euro loss and move on to the next old-new game, one of which I had on my wishlist for some time called Watch Dogs. I remember seeing the hype surrounding this game and being quite excited to play it and now I finally could. There was a sale on Steam allowing me to buy the game, some added DLC and a season pass. What is a season pass? No idea. Anyway, after purchasing and installing the game without too much of an issue I was finally ready to play. Ubisoft however insisted I install something called Uplay and I also needed to set up YET ANOTHER account to get that working. So anyway, I have Steam running and logged in, I have Uplay running and logged in and noooow I can finally play Watch Dogs and what do you know…? It was boring AF! After sitting through many minutes of tedious dialogue I was met with lackluster gameplay, gummy controls and a thoroughly disappointing experience over all. Thankfully, and this is one of the few pros of modern gaming, I was able to get a refund.

 

Frustrating And Unsustainable

Modern gaming is just awful this way. You buy a CD with data on it assuming you have all you need, but when you install it’ll start complaining about the lack of interwebz. Once connected it’ll start downloading, installing and updating some secondary client. This client then proceeds to bother you with logins, friends, other clients and more updates. Once this is out of the way you can play what is effectively nothing more than an interactive movie. I miss the old days where you just buy a PC game, install it and play the fucking thing! This technology of cloud based gaming does not bode well for the future either, because what’s going to happen once Steam, Uplay, EPIC or any of these clients go under and become obsolete? Bye, bye gaming library!

 

What’s Old Is New Again

It’s not all bad having a shiny new machine though, I can store all my data on one drive instead of three separate ones, I can watch streaming video without lag and I can even play Second Life which I had previously stopped doing mostly on account of technical problems. But after many hours of wrestling with installers and everything that comes with it here are some recommendations I can give you. If you plan on playing older games on your current system do some research first to make sure you’re not wasting your time, a simple search engine query of [OS]+[Game Title] will do. Secondly, before buying a new game go to Youtube and search for [Game Title]+Sucks, this is an easy way to find some unsponsored reviews for the game you’re planning on buying. And lastly ask yourself if your time isn’t better spent forgoing games altogether and just reading a book instead, no updates required.

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